Soften the voice inside

Shame, self-criticism, and self-compassion

Shame is the core feeling in developmental trauma, and self-criticism is what keeps it running. It is also trainable — compassion-focused approaches were developed specifically for people who find kindness toward themselves almost impossible.

01

Notice the voice

Write down one thing it said to you today.

02

Change the audience

Would you say that to a friend in your position?

03

Say the other thing

Out loud, even if you do not believe it yet.

04

Expect resistance

For many survivors self-kindness feels dangerous at first. That is normal, and it passes.

EVIDENCE & CLINICAL LITERATURE

How strong is the evidence? Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind, 2009. Compassion-focused therapy has a developing evidence base for shame-based difficulties.